He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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