It's like God shit irony all over that family
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
