Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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