I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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