I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
