i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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