Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
