real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
