I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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