I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
