that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
