is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
