it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
His nipple licking is glorious
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