i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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