i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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