We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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