I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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