I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
