what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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