My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
