oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
