I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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