You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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