So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
