Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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