I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
