There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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