i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You ruined the universe
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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