Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
