Jerry, you need to find god
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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