it wasn't lemon gatorade
what day is it and did you see me today?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
