My liver just broke up with me...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
