I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
