can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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