Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize