Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
When are your genitals available?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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