he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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