good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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