I wish you could order shots online.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
