I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
