you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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