You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
