shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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