from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my liver is dry heaving
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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