Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
