I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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