Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
