Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
