How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is the high leading the old right now
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
