I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize