You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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