The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
