I wanna bring you to show and tell
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
