Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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