:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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