we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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