How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
